It puts a weight into my little heart.

Afternoon. My friend and I stood next to each other; our backs on the wall. Her eyes raised to the ceiling, fighting the pressure that's starting to build up. And I respected her silence as I watched the rain fall like thousands of threads racing to touch the ground. My heart is thumping, I told her. Because I felt so human? Yes, that's it. I felt alive. I feel....

Oh my goodness.

Lahat tayo kung minsan ay nagkukunwari.

Naisip ko ang pagiyak ay di na gaya nung tayo ay bata pa na reaksyon lamang pag tayo ay nadapa o pag ayaw ibagay ang gusto natin. Ngayon, para sa nakakarami, tila pahirapan pa sa pag-iyak, na para bang ito na lang ang huling nararapat gawin. Lumuluha tayo ngayon para gumaan ang pakiramdam di tulad dati na dahil tayo ay nasugatan. Ganito na ba pag tumatanda. Nagmimistulang mga balde na naghihintay mapuno bago umagos?

Ready to drop.

The past week proved to be amusing yet exhausting. Weekdays were spent killing brain cells. Weekends spent eating with friends. Lack of updates means I have no time to sit down and put my thoughts into writing. Also, I've been having bruises I have no idea where I got it from. But of course, who gives a frap. Hehe.

Safety In Numbers

I went to audition for InfoPsy today. If I'm lucky, chances are, I'll get to land on my first org and write in the literary section for the Psychology publication. By then, I might have the guts to try out for the College of Science Journal. Yes, I'm aware I may be reaching too high. But what the heck, it gives me thrills just thinking of seeing my name on a printed page. Hehehe!

So anyway, while I was writing poems at Rm 313, I can't help but hear my friend Marco and this senior member of InfoPsy Mel talking about this group picture of us taken last year. She was amazed at how many we were in the group and said, that with that number, people could mistake us for freshmen students!

That's how college is, she added, that during the first years you go together like there's always a field trip but it lessens as years progress. Not in our case though. We can hardly fit in a frame but I love it. :D Photo taken by Rej last Friday.

Cognitive Appraisal at Work

Epictetus, a Greek philosopher, once said that "men are disturbed not by things but by the views they take of them". The moment I chanced upon this line on my Abnormal Psychology handout, I swear, it was like my saving grace. Like an answered prayer that made its own way to meet the questions I haven't even started asking. I tell you, I haven't been so thankful for the things I'm learning in this course because just recently (this may sound ass-crazy but I'll tell anyway) I psychoanalyzed myself! And I've never felt better. Man, this is so going to be hazardous on my future reputation. *laugh times infinity*

She starts feeling on her own

This is making me in sane at the moment.
*sigh longing sigh*

Where are you?

In a sea of unfamiliar faces, we stood still and remained close to each other—barely touching—as strangers brush passed against us. Your smile masterfully disguise someone you couldn't recognize. As you caught your reflection when the doors of the train met, it took few seconds until the rapid transit went away with it. Your thoughts must have taken you somewhere distant. I felt you lost beside me. You held me yet I'm already far away. We left each other walking on opposite directions in our heads though we kept still; standing here feet firm on the ground.

Too much intellectual stimulation.

I was bombarded with plethora of thoughts about the future today. Being kind of a "lost soul" like what my Industrial Psychology professor calls those of us who were still undecided, makes it all the more hard to think of what career am I exactly going to take soon; and the dream of being a profiler is so CSI—a comical stimulation of my imagination. Whaaat. :)

I have lots of people to pray for tonight. Oh unhappiness, where's when I was young and we didn't give a damn? Right Hannee?