There have been few moments in time when I find it hard to be real to anyone. Not that I don't want to, it's just that I feel like I haven't been true to myself to begin with. I see that I'm a walking contradiction, saying this now and saying another thing later. You could say I'm a hypocrite, but aren't we all. The strange thing is I've grown to live my life as if someone is watching my every move, like I am watching me from the outside. It's difficult this way; you always seem to calculate every motion, cautious of every words you say, even your own thoughts is held up against you. I couldn't agree more to this when she said, "Life is supposed to be filled with constant awakenings, sometimes I am afraid of what I might find." For it speaks not only for me, but for all of us who are dying to get out of own selves, who seemed so in control when seen from the outside, yet dying for someone else to save them from what they lack or what they've become inside.