Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Secrets I Tell To My Pillow



Feeling ko ang bilis ng panahon. Mabilis lang ba ang pag-ikot ng mundo at bigla-bigla na lang gumagabi at umaaraw? Pero hindi rin eh, ganun pa din takbo ng relo. Mga show sa TV lumalabas pa rin sa tinakdang oras. Naalala ko pa naman ang mga ginagawa ko sa buong araw kapag iniisip ko ito sa mga sandaling hindi ako kaagad-agad dinapuan ng antok pagkahiga ko sa kama. Hindi naman pumapalya ang aking memorya at lahat naman ng bagay na aking kinagisnan ay umaayon pa rin sa kung ano ang sa tingin ko ang tama.

So ano ba itong nararamdaman kong pagbilis ng panahon? Alam kong nasabi ko na rin ito dati. Hinalintulad ko pa nga ito sa 'rumaragasang kotseng hindi makapaghintay dumating sa finish line' or something like that.

Sa tuwing nararamdaman ko to, hindi ako mapanatag, pilit sumisiksik sa utak ang pagbabakasakaling I'm not living life to its fullest. It shits the hell out of me. One time, just recently (I can vividly recall that day), I merely existed. Woke up, got dressed, went to school, met my friends, did my OJT, sat there alone for a span of 4 hours surrounded by the four walls of that air-conditioned room; there I was thinking, 'Man, this sucks.' And I rambled on my journal, lines and lines and lines and drew a picture. Went home, saw a former classmate, went in a bus with her and listened to her talk endlessly for the whole two hours we were on the road.

I just existed. I didn't like it. What do I do? There's just so much that I want. I want to go to the African Savannah, be with the wild, be with nature, and forget about modern civilization for a while. Or how about a trip to outer space? Yeah, that would be great. If people get a glimpse of what is out there, they'd be a changed man. I absolutely guarantee it. Just thinking about it makes prelim exams useless. Makes our problem seem nothing.

4 comments:

  1. mundane moments were the greatest. :)

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  2. We all have our 'Into the Wild' moments. Girl! Wag ka lang aabot sa ganun ha? Mamaya makita kita sa Quiapo, nagpapart-time job, nagtitinda ng mga anting-anting, para magkapera at makabili ng canoe para makapag-canoeing sa ilog Pasig.

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  3. WAHAHHA! Loko ka Hannee ah. >:D I won't go that far naman. :P

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