Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Ramblings you ought not to read about.

These are thoughts I can only make sense of when written. Hence, this entry.

I have a job now. I won't go into the details of it and speak no more than to tell you that what we do is take calls and manage accounts. And only a week remains until training ends and I submerge myself into the real deal, before I take live calls and to finally taste what this job really has to offer. Stress and toxicity opening their arms, cradling me with malicious intent.

I have been thinking about life lately, as if I haven't had enough thinking already, and along with the recent documentary I saw called Zeitgeist: Moving Forward (the 3rd and latest installment), my views on all sorts of things has now geared towards a wider and somehow different road.

I don't know if I've just reached a whole new level of gullibility or the film was outright convincing that I was really moved by the concepts that were introduced. In a nutshell, they are promoting a society living in the absence of money and labor, free from politics and any religious ideas, of violence and poverty; all of which may seem far-fetched in this lifetime but flying and electricity was once thought to be far-fetched as well but look at what we have now.

It has also made a greater impact on how I see my priorities now. I was once asked by my colleague on how long do I plan on staying with the company and I said "until I think I can" but at the back of my mind I thought uhhh, forever? I haven't really thought of it yet but I don't see myself going through all the trouble of pre-employment in the long-run again.

Bata pa daw naman ako she said. Already 26, she adds, she better start moving towards her goals and this job is basically just a stepping stone. This led me to thinking about my own goals as well. And I thought hard because I for one, don't think my goals are serious enough to be taken seriously but then again so what right? Hahaha.

All I ever wanted when I grow up (yes not grow old) is to have (in no particular order) a satisfying marriage, warm relationship with my family and friends, healthy life, and to continue creating things whatever form it may be. You can pitch in a 'fulfilling and productive work' there too. But at the moment, I wonder why I don't see myself with something, you know. I mean, for a lack of better word to describe it, a career. I'm laughing in my head now thinking of my friend Hanna and how "careers are just 20th century invention." or something like that.

4 comments:

  1. Start doing something you love. If you think that this job is not for you, then don't do it just for the sake of having one. You're young, you have choices. Choose what you think is best for you and your situation :)

    Good luck on your grown up venture! Miss you!

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  2. Thanks Eka! I really appreciate that. But I realized that, like most things in life, its easier said than done. Or perhaps I'm just making excuses hehe

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  3. perhaps, you're making excuses most of the time! haha. JK. yeah right, do what you love. and excuses make regrets later. decide what you really want and think of the things that you can imagine doing for the rest of your life. people watching not included. lol JK again, :))

    so we need to talk about sensible stuffs again, haha. parang we need to talk. :)) early dinner next week, perhaps? :))

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  4. Hahahah! PJ! I miss you and your sarcasm :D Just text me! See you around!

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