I cannot believe I have never seen Dead Poet's Society until now. I mean, what movies was I watching before then?? This film has moved me beyond anything in comparison as of date. See how I've been living like I'm between sleeping and awakening?? I hear some deep quotable words of wisdom and it changes my life. I see the actors clearly playing a role and tears starts building up when they're frustrated. I cry with them when they're in remorse, my lungs tighten from mere expressions of passion transmitted on the computer screen. I bind my feelings in a straitjacket only to release more of what was originally there.
But I'm glad I've watched it at this time of my life when it feels like I'm perpetually submerged in water. Then this movie pulls me up and I learned to breathe and realize how absurd I was for holding my breath all this time. There's this part of the film where the English teacher Mr. Keating (played by Robin Williams) said these beautiful words:
"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
There was an opening for an Assistant HR Manager recently for Holiday Inn Hotel, which is one of the hotel chains of the company I work for, and my former team manager urged me to send my resume. It has been, what, 5 days since and I still feel like I did when I first heard of it: not this time. There's a part that says this may be an opportunity and what a waste I didn't seize it (or even try) but there's this bigger part that doesn't want to even try because it could mean success--to successfully be eaten by the corporate world which will be the death of me. Perhaps this is me rationalizing, or the fear talking, or the laziness contented with what already is. I sure hope not. Because at 21, I know so many exciting things to accomplish! But I quote Celine from the movie Before Sunset: There are so many things I want to do, but I end up doing not much.